Things you should never say to a barista.

So there came a time in my year abroad that I had to get a job. It’s sad I know, but I needed to pay for all the delicious foods and beaut hotels somehow. And it just so turns out that my boyfriend’s cousin is a barista at a small cafe and was in need of a little extra help. So of course, with the hope of free coffee in mind, I took the role.

Overall it’s been pretty enjoyable, who doesn’t want to learn how to make beaut coffee? But there are definitely some aspects that can get frustrating and sorry to say it guys – but most of them are because of you guys; the general public. Here are all the things you should never (no seriously, never) say to a barista unless you want a particularly shit coffee next time because believe me, we never forget.

“Can you show me which soy you use?”

To be honest with you, I don’t really have to time to show you every product and utensil we have behind the counter, you can see how long my line is. You’re already being difficult by asking for soy, don’t get fussy about which one.

“Oh, that soy is a bit too nutty for me, can you do half soy, half full cream?”

So you’re not lactose intolerant then? Just annoying. Oh and soy is nut milk. Idiot.

“Why didn’t you make this hot chocolate for my child I didn’t tell you it was for, warm and not hot?”

Because I’m not a mind reader, nor responsible for your child’s well-being. Soz.

Sorry_not_sorrysource://www.tumblr.com

*Peers over counter and looks at orders waiting* “Oh, how long is the wait? I’m running late”

Not my problem, don’t stop for coffee if you’re running late. Oh and if you want a quick order, don’t order a decaf soy long black with extra foam.”

“Can I have a large flat white extra hot with no foam?”

You know what milk does with it’s extra hot? FOAMS. We hate you.

“Don’t you remember my order?”

I actually pride myself in knowing about 90% of what my regular customers order. But don’t just expect it. I serve hundreds of people a day, they all sort of merge into one if I’m honest.

“Eurgh, it’s gonna be a long day, give me the biggest cup you have” *orders no extra shots*

A bigger cup does not always mean more coffee, and in actual fact having more milk with the same amount of coffee just makes it weaker so you’re literally doing the opposite of what you think you’re doing. But to be honest, your lack of coffee knowledge can be endearing on the odd occasion.

 

 

 

 

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